Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Time...Please Stop..

So I've been stressing lately about the fact that Kylee is turning 6 months in a couple of weeks. I mean seriously..wasn't I just a blimp pregnant yesterday? I have to admit, this time last year I couldn't even believe I was pregnant..and now here I am raising a beautiful and amazing babe. Little baby? No..not so much. She's already pursuing her independence and has become quite outspoken. I mean she's not talking yet. (Other than "oh-oh" and her random babblings). But she'll let you know what's up and trust me she has NO problem doing so.

I was so nervous when I found out that I was pregnant back in March. (The day before April Fool's no less...I was SURE this was HIS joke on me). I didn't think I could take care of a baby, I was barely taking care of myself. I was scared of how my body was going to change. I was sad to see my "youth" go. No more wild partying, no more late nights, no more bars, no more being...me. I had to become a more responsible and healthier version of me. Once I heard the heartbeat for the first time though... my eyes filled with tears and I knew that this change was going to be for the best. As I continued to bust out of every pants I'd ever owned grow with this wonderful and amazing life inside of me, I also changed into a mature, responsible, and motherly woman. So fast forward (so this post isn't days long)..and I gave birth to Kylee. Delivery itself was a horror story gone wrong. Everything that was supposed to happen didn't and everything that could have gone wrong did. However, in the end, we were blessed with our angel. I didn't realize how hard having a newborn would be. I didn't sleep. I was lucky to get 3 meals a day. Showering was OUT of the question. She was attached pretty much all day long for days! There was a bump in the road at 2 weeks when I feel asleep while nursing her and she ROLLED OFF THE COUCH! Yes..first time mother..big mistake! We took her to the ER and believe it or not..we got the feeling they weren't surprised by this (I'm guessing I'm not the only one who had done this) ..in the end she was fine and I NEVER did that again. I made some other mistakes (minor compared to the 'couch roll off') and learned and grew. I'm still learning and growing as I type this.

So..I've watched her first cry, first laugh, first smile, rolling over, eating solids, standing, sitting, pooping, peeing, screaming, and everything thing else she has accomplished to this point. So..why is her turning 6 months hitting me so hard? I can't wait for her to crawl, walk, talk, etc..I'm excited to hear her say "mama" for the first time...but why can't that all happen in like...oh...4 or 5 years? I love this baby and I'm not ready to start watching her grow into a little girl. Time is flying. Our calendars HAVE to be wrong along with all of our clocks and other devices which measure time. Right? I just have to keep enjoying every moment and loving every minute of this amazing and blessed ride. I'll have to have all these memories down the road when she's demanding a cell phone, car, money, and us to mortgage our house so she can go road tripping with her friends across the country..because then..obviously..I'll want to sell her love her endlessly.

But for now..can anyone tell me why my lovely daughter feels it's necessary to make this sound numerous times throughout the day?

Oh well..it's cute! Even if sometimes it requires the tv to be turned up or moving to a different room when you're on the phone...gotta love her!


Anna said...

I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I just wish I could hit pause and enjoy ths part a little longer. Time flies right by and our babies are growing up. Sniff.

Jessica said...

Life is flying by, so that is why you have to enjoy the here and now and take lots of pictures to remember these good times.